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Tell me a joke

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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby rbt2 » 16 Jan 2013, 23:00

An inflatable boy at an inflatable school is sent to see the inflatable headmaster because its been rumoured that he is carrying a blade to school.

'Turn out your pockets' says the inflatable head

With that the inflatable yoot draws out a 6 inch blade and stabs the headmaster, then drives the knive into the wall then himself.

'Well Smith' says the rapidily deflating headmaster

'This time you have not just let me and the whole school down - worst of all you've let yourself down'..

I'll get me coat.
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby rbt2 » 16 Jan 2013, 23:02

My son is very excited at the new sports teacher joining his school and came home with a letter last week.

The new teacher is a former Chinese gymnastic prodigy who sadly lost a leg in a car crash and had to give up the sport professionally.

Wun Jim Shu joins the staff next week.
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby rbt2 » 16 Jan 2013, 23:05

Which one is the odd one out.... a shark, a lobster, a crab or a Scouser?

The Shark! The other 3 pinch like f**k and wear shell suits.
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby flash501 » 16 Jan 2013, 23:08

Wouldn't it be a lot easier to just post a link to the site that you're getting all these from? :P
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby rbt2 » 16 Jan 2013, 23:10

Got a new job with the Samaritans last week. Tried to phone in sick this morning, and the bastards talked me out of it!
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby rbt2 » 16 Jan 2013, 23:12

And me final one tonight....


Liverpool players and backroom staff visited the local childrens hospital recently "Its good to put a smile on the faces of people worse off than you , and who face a long long uphill battle " said David Wilson. Aged 6.
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby Mmmmgrolsch » 16 Jan 2013, 23:40

New releases this week at Blockbuster -

The staff.


------------------------------------------------------------------



Despite the recent news, Tesco says that their beef burger sales remain stable.



----------------------------------------------------------------------



Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge ....

.... and they're off.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------


Horse meat found in tesco burgers... Camel toe found in primark leggings
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby dwhlufc » 16 Jan 2013, 23:48

rbt2 wrote:A vicar checks into a hotel and says to the receptionist, 'I do hope the porn channel in my room is disabled?'.

The receptionist replies, 'No, it's just the normal stuff, you sick bastard!'

:lol: :lol: :lol: that's gold right there!
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby rbt2 » 17 Jan 2013, 00:01

I lied. it weren't me last one tonight....



Some hippy threw a box of joss sticks at me last night.

I was incensed..
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby rbt2 » 17 Jan 2013, 00:06

Conjunctivitus.com

That's a site for sore eyes.
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby rbt2 » 17 Jan 2013, 00:10

I saw a very pretty homeless girl today living rough on the street. I asked her if I could take her home. Can you imagine the look on her face when I walked away with her cardboard box!
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Re: Tell me a joke

Postby rbt2 » 17 Jan 2013, 00:12

I shagged an ugly Chinese woman in a lift..I know I know ....I was f**king Wong on so many levels.
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