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Your Favourite Comedian.

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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby flash501 » 27 Feb 2013, 01:25

rbt2 wrote:How could you not find these Tim Vine classics funny, Slicko?

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."

"He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library'. I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"

"And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this is my livelihood.'

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

"So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one.' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'

I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' He said 'To camp?', I said [butchly] 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' He said 'Camper?' I said [campily] 'Make your mind up.'


I just couldn't go somewhere and listen to 90 odd minutes of jokes like that. I'd have enough after 5 minutes!

I always loved Billy Connolly's stuff. It's exactly like Samil said, I like a comedian to tell a funny story, like he's talking to you down the pub, and that's exactly what he was like. His greatest hits DVD from years back is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen.

I've never seen him do stand up, but Ross Noble is usually pretty decent when he's on the likes of QI and Have I Got News For You.
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby rbt2 » 27 Feb 2013, 01:28

I used to like Connoly and stuff like that but I don't no more.
I prefer quickfire stuff like Tim Vine.
I like Ross Noble though.
He is funny.
Not as funny as me though.
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby Simon_H4 » 27 Feb 2013, 10:11

Not sure I've got a favoutire comedian. Used to love the live VHS tapes the family had of Billy Connoly, Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy.

I saw Stewart Francis live, I almost s**t my pants with laughter. He's like a more funny version of Tim Vine imo.

Saw Ed Byrne live too, he was quite good but his support act (some Australian bloke) was funnier.

Frankie Boyle makes I laugh.

Actually I think most of the contestants on Mock The Week are some of the funniest current comedians about today.
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby Bambis Dad » 27 Feb 2013, 15:03

Chubby Brown, lol.
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby Simon_H4 » 27 Feb 2013, 15:42

Bambis Dad wrote:Chubby Brown, lol.

I'll see your Chubby Brown, lol. And raise you, Kevin Bloody Wilson, lol.
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby Bambis Dad » 27 Feb 2013, 15:50

This made me laugh.
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby FishyGinger » 27 Feb 2013, 16:03

The sad realisation one of Arsenals top players is an horrifically unfunny "comedian"....priceless.

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Some say he's half man, half fish. Others say its more of a 70/30 split. Whatever the percentage, he's one fishy bastard.
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby Barry316 » 27 Feb 2013, 16:09

I can tell you my least favourite - Michael McIntyre.

He is s**t. His voice is annoying. His face is annoying. His floppy hair is annoying. He sold his soul to Simon Cowell. And he probably smells like cabbage.
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby Bambis Dad » 27 Feb 2013, 16:11

Bu, bu , but I like cabbage.
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby FishyGinger » 27 Feb 2013, 16:25

Barry316 wrote:I can tell you my least favourite - Michael McIntyre.

He is s**t. His voice is annoying. His face is annoying. His floppy hair is annoying. He sold his soul to Simon Cowell. And he probably smells like cabbage.


Same. Can't stand him. The lady loves him and has forced me to watch a dvd of pure bullshit. Well, Michael ShitIntyre. "You'll like it, I promise. He's really funny". I didn't and he isn't.

Lee Macks good, David Mitchell, Dara Brainhead, and so on are all good. Also liked some of french and saunders movies.
Some say he's half man, half fish. Others say its more of a 70/30 split. Whatever the percentage, he's one fishy bastard.
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby Barry316 » 27 Feb 2013, 23:38

Tim Vine is on a quiz called Big Ask now, it's on Dave. 111 on Sky.
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby Bambis Dad » 28 Feb 2013, 08:32

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Childhood pictures redeem, clean and so serene
See myself without ruining lines
Whole days throwing sticks into streams

I have crawled so far sideways
I recognise dim traces of creation
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby spaceman_DOUG » 01 Mar 2013, 03:47

It all comes down to whether you'd like you f**king incompetently or with a side order of maliciously.
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby Bambis Dad » 01 Mar 2013, 13:42

When you put it like that then beat me blue, I already have the black covered.
Childhood pictures redeem, clean and so serene
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Re: Your Favourite Comedian.

Postby Revlon69 » 05 Mar 2013, 08:10

is jackie chan counted??? :D
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